One of the Quickest Ways to Start to Heal is Through Forgiveness (Healthy Habits #6)

One of the hardest things in the world to do is forgive, especially when you didn’t do anything wrong. Our mind and even the world communicates to us there is no need to forgive. I was right or I was the victim. When we hang on to what someone has done to us, it causes bitterness, anger, and resentment in our hearts. When we don’t let go our heart becomes darker. Here are three personal examples that I hope will explain what I mean.

When I was a young mom, there were two men at my church that held leadership positions that I had a difficult time with. They had said several things that really hurt my feelings. One day I walked into the church and one of the men said, “Hey you pregnant again or just getting fatter.” Now I don’t know how you would feel, but for me not being pregnant, that was a huge insult. I could go on and on and list the things that were said over the course of a few years that were so out of line. It made me angry. I had such feelings of bitterness and hatred towards these two men. What were they thinking?

Did they treat me like that every time I saw them? No. But the bitterness was already in me and it festered. I went on hating them for almost five years. Every time I was around them my mind and heart were filled with animosity. One day I noticed that they really had no idea I was angry at them. They were clueless and I was filled with bitterness. That is one of the first times I realized how this principle works. It is like I was drinking poison and expecting them to die. One day I saw them alone in a room together. I went in and told them I wanted to apologize to them for having negative thoughts toward them. They both looked surprised and asked me what they had done. I told them it didn’t matter and that I was sorry. It was like someone took a weight and lifted it off my back. This is a simple example that I allowed to last much longer than necessary and in the end it really only damage me.

Another example is when my daughter had a boyfriend who turned into a stalker. It put our family in an upheaval when I had to have her in hiding for seven weeks in another state. During that time I was angry at him for what he did and I did everything I could to protect my daughter, but I also prayed for him. He was messed up and really needed help from somewhere. Although I hated his actions, I tried to remember he was also a child of God. A messed up one, but one none the less. It took a lot of work, but it kept my heart from becoming bitter with hatred toward him.

Finally, after my mother died at 85, I went to her home to collect her belongs. She had been living with her elderly boyfriend for the last 13 years of her life. I knew him well and I had stayed at their home on several occasions with my children. He would dote over my mother and loved her very much but was very distraught at her death. That night I woke up to the horror of him naked in my bed. I won’t go into detail about what all happened and how things ended, but I was angry, violated, and disgusted. I drove the moving van the five hours home breaking down in tears and anguish as to why he would attempt to do what he did. I had always felt safe there or I would never had gone alone.

The feelings of anger, violation, and disgust did not last long this time. I went to an ecclesiastical leader of my church the next day and we talked and I cried. He assured me that it was not my fault and I did nothing wrong. Then he gave me a blessing and told me everything would be alright and to find forgiveness in my heart. It was easier this time. I was not asked to forget or to let him back into my life, I was asked to forgive him for his sins. When we forgive, we aren’t expected to forget. We often need to remember to keep ourselves safe from the situation repeating itself.

The lesson here is that when we are the victim, we are continuing to allow them to win when we become bitter and angry. We are giving them power over us. When we forgive, our hearts are softened and our healing can begin.

Author’s Note: If you are in a violent abusive relationship. Don’t remain in it. Get to a safe place. Even if you forgive a hundred times, the abuser will continue their abuse unless they get help and learn to truly change. Remember forgiveness is to help in your healing. It does not mean to continue to allow the abusive behavior of others to hurt you. (GMC)

Healthy Habits #5 Taking Control of My Life...Again

 Degenerative or Osteoarthritis

I have now been to three doctors in the last few weeks and have one more appointment in June. Things are progressing forward as I work to take my life back from pain. My family doctor diagnosed me with Osteoarthritis. Yesterday, I saw the orthopedic doctor who gave me an arthritis steroid shot in my hip. I have had cortisone shots in my hip for bursitis, but not steroid shots for arthritis. The pain was easily cut in half, but some still exists. According to the physical therapist  today, the pain that is left is being caused by the bursitis.

These shots are band-aids that can last for months or a year. They do not fix the problem. Degenerative or Osteoarthritis is a condition that involves the chronic breakdown of cartilage in the joints leading to painful joint inflammation. It is common with old age, but even more common if you have had issues caused from car accidents, improper cheer leading, and some of my other falls and injuries. 

The bursa is a fluid-filled sac that functions as a gliding surface to reduce friction between moving tissues of the body. There are two major bursae in the hip. Bursitis, or inflammation of a bursa, is usually not infectious, but the bursa can become infected. Unfortunately, both of my hip bursae are inflamed.

I was given the all clear to go do my 5K walks. The first one is tomorrow. I am not doing any permanent damage to the bursa or the arthritis by working it, but I am making it really mad so that it inflames or causes pain. The physical therapist said that cold or hot compresses are fine. So use what feels the best. They would like to see me do some swimming since that is the least impact on the area, but my elliptical and bike are also fine. 


Although the actual cause of osteoarthritis and bursitis are unknown and incurable, there are a lot of things you can do to ease the pain. The low impact exercise is one area to focus on. Another is to strengthen the core and the muscles around the area. Finally lose weight and take omega 3's. These will all help, but in the end when the pain gets too unbearable it will be hip replacement time. 

At least I know I am not causing more damage when I down the ibuprofen and push through the pain. So now I have 1 stretch and 3 exercises to do at home until my appointment next week. I am also going to see someone that is a Certified Bowenwork Practitioner. It is a unique form of neuromuscular re-patterning. It works primarily through the nervous system on both structural and energetic levels.

By taking control I am hoping to be able to alleviate some of the pain I have.  Especially the pain at night that causes havoc and keeps me awake. My advice to the younger generation: take care of yourself now so you don't have to go through what I am!

Healthy Habits #4 AND Enjoying Exersice #3

Since I am planning a major event in California in October, my time has been drawn away from writing. Hopefully I will get back to more frequent posts soon.

I have watched "Fed Up" three times this week. I still shake my head in disbelief and learn something from it each time. If you haven't seen it, it is a must see. Have you ever noticed that the FDA, who controls putting labels on food, has deliberately chosen to leave off the percentage of daily recommenced sugar intake? The government & other groups say to those of us over weight that we need more discipline and we need to exercise, while they continue to lie to the American people about what they are putting in our foods.

By the time you have had a bowl of most cereals, glass of juice, and a piece of fruit for breakfast, you have already surpassed your daily recommend percentage of sugar. The food industry surrounds us with unhealthy processed foods at the check out stands, in our school, and places of work and then tells us it is our own fault for gaining weight. The line of 'calorie in = calorie out' isn't so equal. The people who made this documentary are selling nothing and gain nothing, so why would they lie? The challenge?
For 10 days:
1.  don't eat any unnatural sugar (fruits & vegies are fine)
2. Don't eat any processed foods, you know things in a box, fast food, etc
3. COOK! Actually cook fresh foods.

Personally, I am trying to avoid high fructose corn syrup, sodium nitrate, and anything I can't say on a label! Interesting fact, my weight gain corresponds with the years they started changing foods and adding crap, and entering the work world where cooking became a chore instead of a time to spend with family cooking.

Now on to the fun part of my week! I bought an elliptical and have actually used it 4 times in a week! I also talked my daughter into doing the 'Obsticles of Obesity' 5K. On this one we had to do the course in a blow up suit so the thinner people in the crowd could see how had some things were to do. This was my 6th 5K this summer and I have two more I want to do! It has been a lot of fun doing these crazy 5Ks. I am not a runner, so this has been great. Find something you enjoy doing and go do it!

Fun Food #5

Beating Mindless Eating

I found this report absolutely fascinating and true. So how do we stop this overeating spiral that we are all caught in?

For me the best thing is not to have food in the house that I don't want to eat. I also try asking myself "Why am I really eating this?"  The answer is usually, "because it is there."  Every time I walk by the candy dish with M&M's leftover from a baby shower, I grab a handful for no reason. I go to the kitchen because I am hungry, find nothing worth eating, and then grab something that is all carbs.

This process is really a total relearning of how we were raised eating and it is hard!